so im shopping for make up for the girlfriend bc valentines day and holy fuck how do you girls afford this shit
$80 for eye shadow???
is it made out of unicorn shit
what is naked 3
why is it called naked
will it make her look naked
why is it $50
that’s 50 cheese burgers
i can’t deal with make up good bye
people who comment “photo credzz” on instagram?? like relax its not a fucking magazine photoshoot its literally just a fucking picture
chinese food is more important than 95% of the things in my life
and they say games are good for nothing.
Fun shark attack facts:
- In 1996, toilets injured 43,000 Americans a year. Sharks injured 13.
- In 1996, 2,600 Americans were injured by room fresheners. Sharks injured 13.
- In 1996, buckets and pails injured almost 11,000 Americans. Sharks injured 13.
- For every human killed by a shark, humans kill approximately two million sharks.
- Humans are assholes.
- Sharks are not assholes.
- Apparently everyone in 1996 lived in a real-life infomercial.
isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other human beings?
"Hello, welcome to Starbucks."
"Hi, I’ve never had coffee before. Could you please explain the key differences between all of your different coffee selections. Spare no detail."
so i’m ready to go back to school
woah hang on what
are you really sure you’re only going to need one pen?
*gets arrested for being too cool*
*the charges are dropped because there is no supporting evidence*